This week, I had an aha moment. I’ve been “shoulding” all over myself and didn’t even realize it.
I have been going about my hours, days, and weeks doing things based on what I (or others) think I should be doing, rather than what I really want to do.
“I should be getting out of the house more.”
“I shouldn’t give my baby a pacifier or a bottle – breast is best.”
“I should want to hold and cuddle my baby all the time, because that’s what makes me a good mom.”
“I shouldn’t feel desperate to get out of the house – even though I do.”
“I should probably start thinking about how I’m going to get my pre-baby body back.”
“I should be able to take care of myself, my baby, my home and my business since I’m at home all day.”
“I should really stop using the disposable diapers and get my baby used to using the cloth 100% of the time.”
“I shouldn’t feel guilty leaving the house – even though I do.”
“I should feel grateful for the visitors who want to come by the house – even though I want my space on some days.”
Truth be told, I like to think of myself who is really in tune with their wants and needs. That when I start feeling a little bit “off,” I usually can tap into that discomfort and correct it pretty quickly.
But lately, with a brand new baby, life has been completely different. I’m out of touch with who I am. Probably because who I am has changed 100-fold.
I’m a mom and learning what that means.
I’m still a wife, but with the new title of mom – that definition seems to be changing every second of every day.
I’m a daughter, sister, and friend – roles that come naturally, but that I haven’t had as much time for in the past few weeks.
I’m a business owner and coach, but hardly have time for myself – let alone helping others along their journeys right now.
When I look back at the past few weeks, I’m kind of surprised at how I got to this place of “shoulding” on myself. I’d like to think that I saw this coming and that I avoided it – but I didn’t. [Read more...]